Updation Nation! LOL

Well exams are over, and I'm officially done with freshman year of university!!! Yay!!! LOL It's been one crazy year lol...I mean really it has been lol. From parties to crazy hook-ups...strippers, overnighters in the library, bad boyfriends and roommate stories, it's been the most exciting school year of my life. And now that I'm back home, life seems boring again lol. I miss my crazy friends like whoa lol.

Funny tidbit, on the day that I was moving out of campus, storage spaces were all filled. I was planning on leaving my stuff off at a friend's house that lives nearby, but unfortunately that didn't work. Because her parents weren't home and she was still packing, so there was no one to let me in lol. No worries though, my parents happened to find a way to fit all my clothes, shoes, fridge, storage containers, books, and suitcases into the car. Yes...it was like that! LOL Ok fine...so we had two suitcases on top. But on the 5 hour drive home, it was like, I know we have a truck and all...but I was still somehow afraid that the roof would cave in when I kept on hearing creaking noises lol. But it all worked out for the best though, I'm lucky that I have that storage container. I don't know what I would do without it seeing as to how my room has no dressers, desks or any furniture other than a bed. Yep...come home from university and that's what happens lol. No worries though lol.

Next story...I know in my last post I said that crazy guy had not called me. Well I spoke too soon. While in the library studying for my finals, I had taken a nap. And when I woke up, I checked my phone. In the library I keep my phone on silent rather than turn it completely off. So I check my phone for calls...and guess who had called me! Argh...it's really frustrating. I honestly thought that I was done with all of this nonsense. And the thing is, it's been a week now...about a week, and he hasn't called me again. So I'm thinking that maybe he just called to make sure that I still have the right number. So I'm trying to think about what I can do in this situation.

I don't want to call him back for one thing, or else he might get the impression that I am interested in some kind of contact (or else why would I be returning his call?). So in one way...I want to call the police, but I can't just call them without giving him any kind of warning ahead of time that if he calls me, I will call them. So I can't call the police yet. Or next time he calls me... I might just tell him this whole lie about:

1.) My parents are moving to [insert some far off state here] and because of that I had to switch schools as well to be closer to them. Reason being that I'm only allowed to be so-and-so hours away from home.

2.) I was diagnosed with cancer when I was younger, and a couple of months ago, I found out that it had come back. And I didn't want to hurt him, and I didn't want him to be sad, so I felt that if we just stopped communicating it would be better.

3.) Call me again and I will call the police. (This one not being a lie...maybe a bluff though)

So those are my options, and I assure you that I am seriously considering each one. So what do you guys think? Like...dislike...better option out there?

And last of the agenda that I have for my post...my boyfriend...as usual lol. Okay, this might be a very very long section because I realize as I am typing this that things have happened which I have not spoken of before.

First things first, one story that I absolutely HAVE to tell you all...

So I have this friend who is a year older than me and we go to the same university, Nigerian as well. Maybe two weeks after I started going out with my boyfriend, I told her about him. And the funny thing was that at first she thought that I was joking. So then the next day, we were on the phone and she tells me how she doesn't think that he really likes me. And says that she thinks that he has this thing for this other girl. She then goes on to tell me about how she saw him coming out of this girl's room at like 2 o'clock in the morning and he gave her a hug. But it was the kind of hug that you give someone when you guys have been doing something. I told her that was we were really going out. She then apologizes, and says that it happened months ago, and that she thought I was just crushing on this guy. That was that, didn't let it phase me, because I knew that he liked me.

So then a couple weeks go by, and I'm going out to a movie with that same friend. We're with this other group of girls as well. So while waiting in line, she pulls me aside to talk to me. She tells me once again, how she's not sure that my boyfriend really likes me. The story about him coming out of another girls room late at night is mentioned again. And then she goes on to tell me how he saw him going into the same dorm that the girl lives in one afternoon when she was talking with my bf and they parted ways. So then I repeatedly tried to tell her that that was the same dorm that he lived in. She then said to me, I thought he lived in such-and-such because you had gone there when you wanted to see him. So I told her that I had made a mistake and gone into the wrong dorm. But that wasn't all she had to tell me. She also had to go on to say that "he only asked you out because he felt sorry for you." Because my boyfriend and I had kissed before he actually asked me to go out with him, she said that he felt obligated to ask me out. She said "don't be that girl ELNG, because I was that girl once, and it's not a good place to be." I'm not going to lie...I was shocked. Like literally floored that she said that to me. I didn't think much of it when she said it, but when I got back to my dorm...it bothered me.

And the worse thing is, you don't need to believe something at all. You really don't. But once you start seeing truths to certain aspects, and you start questioning things...that's when you create a problem.



All she had to do was say that, and then it started putting doubts in my head. Like, can I really be sure that if he likes me. If he really likes me, then why doesn't he call more often? Why doesn't he such-and-such...? And then I started going back to things that my ex-boyfriends have done...and it's just a giant mess. All-in-all, I was crying my eyes out for two hours just thinking about all of it. And thinking...how did I become this girl? So it bothered me, and I think the first time I was around my boyfriend afterwards, I couldn't hide it. And he asked me what was bothering me...and at first I didn't want to say it, because I had come to the conclusion that what my friend had made no sense. But he really wanted to know, so I told him. And then he told me how it's not true, and he really does care about me and all of that good stuff lol.

That was the end of that episode...but once someone says that to you, it's always in the back of your mind. So a week ago when I went to see my boyfriend. And I told him that I would be over in about an hour. So when I knocked on his room door and he wasn't there, I was surprised. Like we had planned this...where is he? So I called him and he answered. Told me he would be there in a bit, but behind him in the background, I could hear girls giggling. What comes to my mind is what my friend said. So I wasn't exactly in the greatest mood when he met me at the stairwell. For one thing...I refused to kiss him. I always moved my head, or his head in a way that it wasn't obvious...but I just didn't have to kiss him. That went on for like an hour and we were just hanging out in his room watching t.v. or listening to music on his laptop. And then his roommate came back, so we went over to my dorm room instead because my roommate is always in her boyfriend's room. So he was asking me what was wrong, but I didn't want to say because I felt that it would sound stupid. I mean really...what was I worried about? I know that he loves me...but eventually I told him. He made me feel better and that was that. Oh yeah...the other girl did apologize to me, she said that she was just jealous because I was younger and had a boyfriend, and because I was taking an eligible guy from her grade and she thought that it wasn't fair.

But yeah, now I'm home...and I have this background on my computer of me and my three other best friends from school. One is from Ghana, another is Ethiopian, and the other is from Antigua. So my mom saw it, and wanted to see the other pictures that I had taken. So I open "My Pictures" folder and it goes to the picture of my boyfriend and I (like a couple pictures!!!) So I freaked and scrolled up quickly (luckily...I was smart and took the picture of my boyfriend and I off from my background and replaced it with my friends lol). But yeah...I couldn't find the folder I was looking for, so I sat on my computer fiddling for a bit, trying to find the folder I was looking for. Eventually I found it, and I was going through the pictures, and my mom sees this picture of a boy. Asks about him, he's African-American. Then comes the series of questions. How do you know him? Why do you know him? How close are you? etc. All of this over the picture of a boy! But I guess I know how Naija parents are.

Later that night, I'm watching "The Bachelor" with my parents...and they start talking about standards that they have. Referring to never bring home an African-American or else I will get disowned. I thought it was going to end there. Next morning, my mom calls me aside because she had to talk to me. She tells me how my she and my father are worried because they think that if anyone in the house is more likely to bring home an African-American, it would be me. They have been saying this to me for years (little do they know that I've had two boyfriends before the one I have now, and both were Nigerian...anyways). Thinking about it now, I have the urge to bring up the whole...self-fulfilling prophecy thing. But I won't...at least not yet. But yeah, every time that they tell me that, I get soo bothered because to be honest, that would never cross my mind to marry one. I want to marry a Nigerian, that's the only way I can imagine growing up, I want to move back to Nigeria and stuff...I just need to marry one. But when she says that, I just think...well if that's what they think, then I might as well.

But back to the story, she goes onto reiterate how I should never bring home an African-American because I would be disowned. That my father and herself would not come to the wedding along with some of my siblings. Starts asking me if I've had sex and all these questions. All of this over the picture of a boy? It's like they assume that every boy in a picture is someone that you want to marry.

Definitely...not true. He told his family a couple of days ago, and they accepted me. I just feel bad that I can't tell my parents. The reason I told him was that apparently I'm not allowed to date, but I can't tell him the truth. I can't tell him that my parents would never accept him as my boyfriend because he is African-American and because of that title, they will not like him. It's sad, both for him because the only family that he will get to know are my siblings. My siblings don't care, they know that we're young (never talked about marrying a black-american though...not really a need to kind of). I was talking to a friend who also goes to the same university with me who is in a similar position (although her family just doesn't like the guy, they are both from the same tribe, and they actually plan to get married). But her parents stopped paying her tuition, monitor phone calls, ransack the room...crazy stuff. I don't want that. And she said to me, that I should see where it goes, but also...why date someone who can't be a potential life partner? It makes a lot of sense, I guess maybe at my age I should start thinking of these things, but I have so much schooling ahead of me, and so much time left, that I shouldn't worry about it right now. She said that I shouldn't break up with him because of my parents, and that I should see where it goes. Which I plan to do.

I really wish I could tell my parents about him though. I really cannot see my life without him at this point. I would be a wreck...dead serious if I hadn't met him. I would still be trying to find my rock bottom. My first boyfriend...he really messed me up, and maybe I'll go into that later. But he seemed perfect...until one weekend. He was Nigerian (as you all already know), could be a potential husband...did one thing that I could not forgive him for (although maybe I can now). But since then, I had a "why should I care attitude." My parents don't know about any of this, and I would love to keep it that way. But the guys that I have made-out with afterwards were a response to that attitude. It was a horrible life to live (seemed like all fun then...but it's not). Can you imagine from October to today...I've kissed seven guys (3 1/2 were boyfriends)? Gosh...that number makes me feel horrible...wretched to say the least. But my boyfriend saved me...really did. I already had discontent with my lifestyle...I wanted to change, but I would see myself falling back into the same cycle.

He let me know that no matter what happens in my past, there is always a reason for it. And that all those obstacles that I went through before was to help me in my current relationship. Just like the things that he had gone through with past girlfriends were for this relationship. We even had this long talk about religion...several talks. To where he eventually confided in me about his first girlfriend, and I told him about my first boyfriend. And believe me...telling him about my first boyfriend was hard. I was afraid that he would start to see me differently (or even worse feel sorry for me). And I had only told one other person about that weekend, and that was when it happened back in early October. Since then...I've kept it quiet. But I trusted him to know, and I'm glad that I did. I really am. I can't let him know enough how much I love him. For everything that he has done for me. Been there when I need him...always knows the right things to say. And I think that ever since I've told him about my boyfriends, he understands me a lot more where I'm coming from more. I'm glad that we're together. African-american or whatever...I wouldn't trade him for the world. Because I really do owe it to him for helping me get over whatever has gone wrong in my life. And to learn to look past it.

Haha...*sigh of relief* that was one long post lol. Feels a little heavy though. Something to lighten the mood. It's from MadTV. I hope you guys enjoy it :-) And have a great day lol.